


Waiting For Love

by itreads



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5375006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itreads/pseuds/itreads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus follows Sirius to the bathroom with the hopes of cheering him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting For Love

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to Avicii for the title and JK Rowling for the characters :)

 

Tears steamed down his face, blurring his vision; they created small puddles in the sink of the boys' bathroom. The crumpled note in his hands was soaked, both from sweaty palms and salty tears. Sirius Black stood, back haunched, in front of the mirror, pale light from the waning moon glimmering on his wet cheeks. His dark hair was tied back in a loose, hurried bun. A dull throb ran through his head, staring at the bridge of his nose, running down the back of his neck and making him shiver. His shallow breaths caught in his throat. The rise and fall of his chest sped up at the thought of the words scrawled on the piece of note paper in his clenched fist.

 

_HOWS LIFE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?_

_FAGGOT_

 

Sirius had spent most of the summer holidays with James and his parents. It had been the best five weeks he'd ever had, but his family back at home were angry – even more so than before. So angry, in fact, that Regulus, the only one still at Hogwarts, had taken to leaving little _messages_ in places only he would find them.

 

James wasn't even Sirius' boyfriend. Anyone with even the slightest bit of common sense would be able to see that he only had eyes for Lily. And besides... Sirius was in love with someone else-

 

“Padfoot?”

 

It was such a quiet sound that Sirius was almost sure he had imagined it between his choked sobs. Still, he turned around, wiping his face with his bare arm in the hopes of removing any traces of his breakdown.

 

“Sirius, you do know that smudging your tears across your cheeks doesn't actually get rid of them.” The tone was playful and teasing, yet the concern was there – concern that only usually came from one person.

 

“R- Remus,” he stammered, a hoarse whisper that barely made any noise at all.

 

Remus' bath robe was warm and soft against Sirius' bare upper body, and when he wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace, Sirius could almost forget about the cold words on the small scrap of paper. Almost.

 

“Talk to me,” Remus whispered in his ear. “Tell me what's wrong.” His voice was as soothing as his dressing gown, yet this wasn't something Sirius could share. Not with Remus. Not with anybody.

 

“I can't,” he breathed.

 

“You must. You need to find the strength within you. I know you can.” He reached down and took Sirius' hand, prising open the curled fingers to reveal the note he had been holding. Dragging his eyes down, lingering for a little too long on his uncovered abdomen, he read the message, then let out a small gasp.

 

Suddenly, his hands were on Sirius' shoulders, and he was looking him straight in the eye. “How long has this been going on?” His eyes were full of anger and hatred: hatred for whoever wrote these cruel words – hatred for whoever tried to hurt Padfoot. They were insistent. They demanded an answer.

 

Seeing no other alternative, Sirius told him. “Since the start of this school year. A few weeks, now.” He averted his eyes, trying to find somewhere other than Remus' body to look. “My family is angry that I ran away.”

 

Remus could barely get the words out. He was hurt – not because Sirius hadn't told him sooner, but because someone would actually do such a thing to someone who had, in his eyes, done nothing wrong. “Why didn't you say something? We could have helped you! We could have made it stop!”

 

The tears from before had dried and left crusty streams on his cheeks, but the backs of his eyes were prickling again. Soon, the tears would come spilling out, just like they always did.

 

“I didn't want to burden you with anything. You all have more than enough to worry about. James may shrug his shoulders, I know how much his NEWTs mean to him – he needs good grades to become an auror. And you, well, you have your... thing. I couldn't make you take my problems as well.”

 

“What about Peter? He would have helped. I'm sure of it. Or Lily? She's actually very nice, if you put aside all the teasing. God, Sirius, you could even have told McGonagall-”

 

“I could never give Regulus the satisfaction.” Even in this state, Sirius had his pride.

 

“Dammit, this isn't about giving anyone 'the satisfaction'!” His voice broke. “Look at me, Sirius.” He put his hands on either side of his face, bringing his head up until their eyes were level.

 

Something in Sirius snapped. They stood a metre or so apart. Remus' hair was tousled from sleep; his eyes glistened from tears that had yet to roll down his cheeks and his scars stood proud on his pale skin, highlighted by the moon's glow seeping in through the windows. He was beautiful: Sirius knew that nothing else mattered any more. If it was the last thing he did, he had to confess his feelings.

 

“Remus, I-” Sirius started, unsure of where to go next. His heart was hammering in his chest; he was sure Remus could hear it. But Remus moved his thumb over his lips, pressing softly.

 

“Shh,” he sighed. “Don't say anything.”

 

Their lips met, and it wasn't an explosion of bright colours and noise. It was a sad, lonely longing; it was a calm breeze; it was wet and sweet and sad and happy. Their eyes were closed and their bodies were pressed together. Remus moved his hands back into Sirius' long, black hair, and he in turn brought his up to cup Remus' soft face. And now it had more heat, more passion and desire – their bodies were moving harmoniously whilst their mouths did the talking. There was gasps for air on either side, and both their lips were parted, unable to stop, unable to break apart.

 

Sirius took control, flipping Remus around until he was pressed against the cold sink with Sirius' leg between his own. He was kissing with a fervent desire, until Remus brought his hands up to his chest and pushed softly. Sirius sprang back, suddenly worried that he'd gone too far and messed it up. He scrubbed his hands over his face, muttering incoherent words, then opened his eyes and looked up at Remus, who was looking at him with a mixture of shock and pain and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

 

“I'm so sorry,” he murmured. “Mooney, oh, I- I'm sorry, did I hurt you? God, I've messed up. I'm sorry. I- I need to go-”

 

“Sirius. Sirius, please.” Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him back as he turned to leave. “Listen. Do not leave me. Not while you're in this state, not after what we just – what just happened. I need... I don't even know. Just please stay here.”

 

“But I've messed up, and now you probably hate me – and you'd have every right to, as well – you must think I'm drunk, or something, I don't even know what that was. Oh God, I must have ruined everything-” He tried to leave again, but this time Remus was ready, and Sirius found he was being pulled back into his arms.

 

Remus whispered in his ear from behind, “You haven't ruined anything. In fact, you did the opposite.” He laughed: a nervous giggle that made his chest shake. “Do you know how long I've been wanting to do that?”

 

Sirius breathed out a small sigh of relief, but he couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was wrong – the feeling that tomorrow morning, they'd wake up and they'd be how they were before. Or worse, they'd be in the awkward state that people are usually in when they had kissed their best friend the night before. Not that Sirius had ever done that, though.

 

“Padfoot, you look like you're having a stroke. What is it?”

 

Sirius didn't answer for a long moment, letting the silence drown out all other activity until he couldn't bare it any longer.

 

“What does this mean?” he asked quietly.

 

“What do you want it to mean?”

 

Instead of answering, Sirius turned round slowly and took hold of Remus' face with his hands, pressing their lips together. Remus didn't protest, and Sirius wondered if this meant he wanted it too – whatever 'it' was.

 

Remus pulled back. “As much as I would love to stand here and kiss you all night long, it's late,” he said, sighing. “Plus... we've got a problem that needs sorting.”

 

Sirius smiled internally at the fact that Remus automatically believed that any one of his friends' problems was his problem too. He looked at him, then said, “Can we just go back to the dormitory?”

 

He nodded. “Suddenly realised how tired you are?” he said in his playful tone that Sirius knew all too well. “Good, because I'm tired too, and I know I'm going to regret this in the morning.”

 

Sirius, who had turned to leave already, snapped his head round. Remus blushed, realising what he'd said. “I meant staying up this late!” he explained. “Oh crap, I've just messed up big time.”

 

Sirius shook his head and smiled, a small, almost unnoticeable reaction that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He took Remus' hand in his, squeezing it gently.

 

They walked back up to the dormitory like this – hands linked and smiles crinkling the shadows left behind from tears – completely unaware of the wandering pair of eyes that watched them from the darkness in the corridor behind them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> There is a chance this could be used as part of a longer fanfic... it's a small chance, but it's there.


End file.
